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Ouch! Your Silence Hurts Trainer’s Page

Ouch! Your Silence Hurts explores the role of the bystander and encourages people to speak up against stereotypes, micro-aggressions, and other biased statements. Speak up and become an ally. This program will inspire conversations beyond the training room! Ouch! Your Silence Hurts goes more deeply into the pivotal role of the bystander and how you and others can become active allies. A complete training program that inspires passive bystanders to become active allies. Based on the ground-breaking book, Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts, by Leslie C. Aguilar.

Your subscription to The Ouch! Your Silence Hurts Trainer’s Page replaces the old DVDs or USBs and includes everything needed to lead a one- to two-hour workshop.


Do you ever stand by silently when you feel you should speak up? If so, your silence hurts. Many people say they want to speak up when they see others stereotyped, disrespected, or demeaned. But they stand by silently because of discomfort or the fear of saying the wrong thing. They may turn away thinking “who am I to get involved, this isn't my business.” In fact, as a bystander, you ARE part of the conversation. You are the audience. Your silence allows the disrespectful behavior to continue. Your silence hurts. ‍ Ouch! Your Silence Hurts challenges viewers by asking, "How will you personally respond next time you witness somebody being treated with disrespect?"

In the Ouch! video, you'll hear about the role of the silent bystander.... When you hear a disrespectful comment or joke, you have a choice: Reinforce it by laughing or joining in. Tolerate it by saying nothing, which is what most people do. Or speak up and become an ally, the hardest thing of all. You may think that by saying nothing you’re making things better, or at least not making things worse. But sometimes silence is not golden. Your silence sends a message that you agree, or at the least you don’t object. Is that the message you want to send?

"When we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak."
-- Audre Lorde, Poet and Activist

"Silence remains, inescapably, a form of speech."
-- Susan Sontag

Ouch! Your Silence Hurts Learning Objectives:

  • Understand the high cost of silent collusion.
  • Explore the power of the bystander to make a difference.
  • Inspire passive bystanders to use their voice as active allies

As Daniel Goleman writes, "saying nothing serves to condone it (bias)." Biased, stereotypical, or otherwise demeaning communication undermines morale, teamwork, and productivity. It can drive customers away, cause a public relations fiasco and worst of all, create a climate of distrust and pain in your organization. So, what can you do to speak up against stereotypes?

The Trainer's Page includes everything needed for 30-minute and 60-minute workshops.

• 9-minute Ouch! Your Silence Hurts video
• Skill-Builder Scenarios
• Extra Video Features
• Leader’s Guide for 1-hour and 30-minute Workshops
• Participant Handouts for 1-hour and 30-minute Workshop
• PowerPoint Presentation for 1-hour and 30-minute Workshops
• Printable Mini-Posters [11″ x 8.5″; color and black/white]